The holidays always mean good food around my house. The house is a little emptier than it used to be, so without an audience I don’t do as much cooking. A friend of mine asked my advice about preparing something for a potluck for her new job. It’s a much better job than she’s had in the past, and she really wanted to make a good showing. So I started digging for something simple that would still wow her coworkers. I found an old hand-typed cookbook my Grandma Wanda gave as a wedding gift to my then cooking-challenged wife-to-be. It’s a treasure trove you can’t imagine filled with recipes , anecdotes and old conversion charts. I’m looking forward to exploring it with my daughter with the intent to share it on the website, but for now I knew there was one recipe that might be useful during these oftentimes stressful holiday. I’ve copied it word for word from the original. Enjoy!
Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality. (Good, isn’t it?)
Now go ahead. Select a large mixing bowl, measuring cup, etc. Check the rum again—it must be just right. To be sure rum is of the highest quality, pour one level cup of rum into a glass and drink as fast as you can. Repeat. With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Meanwhile, make sure that the rum is of the finest quality. Try another cup. Open second quart, if necessary. Add 2 large eggs, 2 cups dried fruit and beat until high. If fruit gets stuck in the beaters, just pry it loose with a screwdriver. Sample the rum again, checking for tonscisiticity. Next sift 3 cups or pepper or salt (it really doesn’t matter). Sample the rum again. Sift ½ pint of lemon juice. Fold in chopped butter and stained nuts. Add 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, or whatever color you can find. Mix well. Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 degrees. Now pour the whole mess into the oven and make. Check the rum again, and go to bed.